The Grice Salutes: John Goddamn Fogerty and people who need honorary explicit titles appended to their names…

If you have no idea who John Fogerty or Creedence Clearwater Revival are…ugh. here.  Put this in your earhole and get a goddamn musical education.  John Fogerty convinced Wrangler to drop an advertising campaign that featured this song.  How?  In an interview he said basically “I don’t want my song used to sell blue jeans” (paraphrasing from memory.)  Even though the rights belonged to the record label because record labels are *coughshadycough* businesses they can license the rights to whomever they choose, Wrangler killed the campaign because John Fogerty made a statement that he didn’t appreciate the music he wrote being used for something, and the people at Wrangler listened.  Either good PR or someone with a heart, I don’t care a win is a win.  But listen to other CCR and you’ll come to understand that it’s just good fucking music.  Bad Moon Rising, Down on the Corner, Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Lookin’ Out My Back Door, Someday Never Comes.  Just listen to THOSE songs and you should be amazed.  Lodi is one of the most depressing songs ever, but its such an amazing song that the town(city? town? civilized social infrastructure) of Lodi uses it for festivals and parades ALL THE TIME.  And it’s about a washed up musician who gets stuck in Lodi.  Fogerty had never even BEEN to Lodi yet.  HE WROTE A GODDAMN SONG ABOUT A PLACE HE’D NEVER BEEN BEING A HELL OF A PLACE FOR A WASHED UP MUSICIAN TO BE WHILE HE WAS EARLY IN HIS CAREER AND THE PLACE MADE IT AN ANTHEM.  DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BAD FUCKING ASS YOU HAVE TO BE TO DO THAT SHIT?

No.  Because you’re not John Goddamn Fogerty.  There are people in this world who deserve superlative titles as middle names.  Some examples:

 

Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson.

Hugh Motherfucking Hefner

Michael Goddamn Jordan (sorry Mr. J I know you’re not a fan of the GD-bomb but you fucking earned it sir, so wear it with pride.)

Fucking Queen Elizabeth (sorry Your Grace, but you’ve earned your superlative for your own feats.)

Let’s not leave out Sirs Ian Goddamn McKellen and Patrick Motherfucking Stewert.  If I need to even think of a reason to explain why these two deserve it, get the fuck off my blog right goddamn now, we can’t be fucking friends anymore.  The same can be said for Motherfucking George Takei.  But you get the point.  This is an honorary title bestowed upon people who, for one series of reasons or another, have come to deserve it.  And in case you’re curious, it’s Jesus Fucking Christ Almighty, thank you very much.  I’m not even Christian but if the real man was half what they wrote about him, then you had better believe he’s earned two.

Chuck Fucking Norris.  I don’t agree with his politics, I don’t like Walker, I did love Sidekicks though.  But regardless of my personal feelings, he’s Chuck Fucking Norris.  He could kill me with like…four muscle movements and I wouldn’t even notice.  Mad respect.

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About geist171

All my life I was told that I could be anything I wanted. I chose to be gracious for my blessings, generous with my fortunes, and in no particular hurry. I view my ADD as an alternative cognitive configuration rather than a disorder, and I never. shut. the fuck. up. I promise.
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