As of the beginning of the writing of this post, it is 2:30AM. In 11.5 hours, roughly, I will be leaving Greensboro to head back to the mountains.
It’s been 4 and a half years since the last time I left Greensboro with a carload of stuff to head back to the mountains to regroup. It wasn’t a great feeling then, it’s not a great feeling now. The land of opportunity it isn’t. A mecca of progressive thinking it isn’t. They only legalized the sale of beer in one of the towns I’m from 5 years ago. Let that sink in. Since then they’ve got an ABC store put in, but I can’t imagine that’s had too negative an impact on the local meth sales. Did I say meth? I meant preserves. Strawberry preserves.
And the last time I went up to “regroup” I was there for two years, and wasn’t really much better off than I had been in any tangible sense. And I didn’t manage to leave until I literally made a horrible life decision and just rode it out to its logical conclusion.
Which, apparently, is heading back home for the holidays at very least. And like I said, I’m not making plans about that right now.
I’m not the same person I was then. But I’m not a different person either. And to be honest I’m terrified that this going to turn into another two-year tour. And that’s something I desperately need to avoid for the sake of my sanity. The high country is a nice place, it’s beautiful…but I don’t fit in. I never have, and I probably won’t until I’m 60, if I even live that long.
With the dishes more or less done and my things more or less packed…I guess that’s about got it all covered. In theory, I should still have internet while I’m back in the mountains so I’ll be able to keep the Passion going and won’t have to go into hiatus.